Sweet

Summer is slightly here and although the sweltering, mind altering humidity hasn't kicked in yet, I know it's just right around the corner, ready to punch you in the gut and make you sleep in the basement for the next few months (my plan).

You know what? That was a pretty awesome run on sentence right there.

As for summer plans, there is nothing too extensive. Friends in, mini travels, weddings, lots of friends becoming parents (which means lots of knitting for me), cook outs, camping, staring at the sun, so forth and so on. A few days ago, I was on a float in my Dad's pool, listening to The Spinner's and staring up at the sky. It really was a perfect moment. I also thought about how I would have been extremely popular (for all the wrong reasons), if we had this pool when I was growing up. Heh.

Now, I'm going to go catch up on some Lincoln research, veggie recipes, grocery shop and more than likely, sit out back and drink some iced coffee while swatting at mosquitos.

XO

It's That Time of Year:

 That's right, PLAY OFF SEASON.

This means a few things:

1. I will scream at the television and/or radio during games.

2. My family, extended and immediate, will begin shit talking each other on various social media outlets.

3. I may or may not cry out of frustration.

4. I most certainly will taunt my husband at EVERY given opportunity.

Each game I tell myself that I'll be cool. I won't panic. Yet, I find myself pacing the floors or nervously picking little pieces of paper out of the carpet that the dog has chewed up. I bite my nails. Twirl my hair. Choke on my drink from trying to yell out and take a gulp at the same time.

And then there's this:

I drew this for my tip jar at work yesterday.  My first tip of the day? 20 bucks. A TWENSKI! Today was a great day for the Stanley Cup Tip Jar as well.  Win!

So, I'll try to resume back to normal posting once someone wins the cup.  Notice I said *someone* Heh.

Remember kids, "I'd rather be dead than root for the Red."

*smoochies*

Tiny fireworks in my hand

Photos Around

In the building I work at, the main lobby has giant ceiling to floor windows. The city looks so much closer than this when you see it with your own eye. Some mornings, the sun is so bright, I can't look out the windows without being blinded. The clouds just seemed to hang above the city today, muffling it all out.
Murphy and one of his typical looks.
Getting close to finishing up this project for a friend!
Last week, Bill and I went out for a good ole fashioned greasy burger. While we were talking, I didn't notice his hands moving and when I paused, he slid this across the table to me. It's still in my purse. xo

Filling In Blanks

1. If not Atlanta, I would live: anywhere, really! I tend to get antsy pants when I've been some place for too long. Although I do love my home here in Georgia, I often think about moving to some place new, some place unknown. Bill and I talk about moving to Maine when Miles moves off to college. After all the home repairs and updating we've done in the past two years, we've decided that a nice, cozy loft or studio apartment will suit us just fine.

2. My dream holiday would be: to spend Christmas in Paris. Hands down. I've been to Paris before, but I want to share the wonderment of it all with my family. Maybe it would snow, maybe not. All I know, is that Paris at Christmas seems as if it would be dreamy and magical.

3. Current obsessions: Instagram, trying to take skyline photos with my camera, knitting new projects and hot tea latte's.

4. I channel my childhood self when I: am alone. Not necessarily alone at home, but any given environment when I'm by myself. Thrift stores tend to bring out my longing for my favorite Wonder Woman outfit, those hair clips with dangly ribbons attached to them and old books.

5. If I had to be outdoors all day I would: do my best to enjoy it (depending on seasons). If camping were involved, I'd be a okay! Which reminds me, I need to get to planning a weekend up in the woods with my tent. If it was summer though, I'd probably bitch and moan about the heat and humidity. Nothing brings my mood down then having to work outside in the hot, hot summer- especially when it feels like you're breathing into a wet, wool cloth all day. Ugh.

6. My favorite quality in a person is: their ability to treat others with kindness and respect. I see so many people on a day to day basis and while they are nice to me, I often notice that they are not nice to others around them. I constantly remind myself that if I'm having a bad day, someone else could be having a worse one. Besides, you never know who is down on their emotional luck, so being nice and cracking a joke could turn someone's entire day around.

7. I am terrified of: ANY TYPE OF FLYING BUG. We'll just leave it at that.

8. My dream car: Honestly, I don't know jack about cars. If I had to pick one, it would be an older model Jeep or a remodeled car from the 50's- station wagon to be exact. Rad.

9. My cocktail of choice is: A black velvet- half Guinness & half Smithwicks. Although the name depends on which bar your at. Some places call it a black & tan, but I consider that to be half Guinness, half Harp. If I'm feeling in a lighter mood, I'll opt for a vodka and soda water. I'm simple. No worries.

10. My beauty product of choice: I have to choose? Pfft. All make up aside (because I just buy whatever looks good or is priced right), I swear by olive oil & sugar scrubs- home made of course.

11. My friends and I like to: Knit, drink red wine, discuss apocalypse theories and shiesty politics.

12. As a teenager I was totally into: Oh... what wasn't I into? I was a teenager during the best parts of the 90's: flannel, grunge music, underground bands & cheap concerts. Back then I was writing poetry all day long, doing music reviews for unheard of newspapers/zines and spent way too much time at Waffle House drinking coffee. It was a great time filled with the unknown and the unwanted.

13. I tend to splurge on: Books, yarn, earrings shoes. Always a bargin hunter, I never pay full price for anything I find. :)

Hi.

Yesterday Murph got the ole snip a roo. I posted this sad little photo with the caption, "RIP tiny nut sack." I've never felt so horrible about something in my whole life. Well, maybe as bad as when I knocked my brother's tooth out. Anyway- he is back to his usual feisty self, which I find strange, considering the circumstances. Guess he didn't have time to get attached. Doh. Bad pun.

He's so sweet when he sleeps, I swear I take a million photos of him. I'd never post them all, but I really want to. I guess it could be worse somehow. Although I'm not quite sure how that's possible.

The last flower to bloom on my birthday bouquet. So perfect and colorful and it kind of bums me out knowing it'll be a dried out mess in less than a week.

Alright, let's get down to the best part!

SQUISHY BAFF!

Weeks ago, Miles and I saw a commercial for this stuff and within ten seconds we looked at each other and screamed, "DUDE!" loudly. I got up and ran into the office to look it up on Google. Miles watched. We checked the price. The color. The absurd nature of this product and agreed that I would buy it on pay day.

Well guess what happened?

My birthday!

And then guess what?

My MOM bought SQUISHY BAFF for me people!

I turned thirty three at the end of February and was kind of having a bum day about it. Not that I was turning thirty three, but the whole.damn.day just did not jive what so ever. That's some shit too. Especially on your birthday. You want cake! People cheering for you! Champagne! Cuddles! Money! Fun! It's an endless list.

So at the very end of my day, the doorbell rings and I open the door and see a tiny package.

I take it into the kitchen and tell Miles that I got something from Think Geek. I grab a knife, stab the box (not nicely either) and rip open the top. With one move of the paper, I see the box and start jumping up and down. Grabbing the box, I hoist Squishy Baff up in the air a la Lion King and scream "DUDE! SQUISH EE BAFF!!" I won't lie, we did a happy dance.

And then, just like I was eleven myself, I bolted up the steps to the upstairs bathroom. I'm usually not one for instructions, as I like to wing it at life, but this was just too precious to waste. I filled the tub up ankle deep and poured in the powder. In the meantime, Miles changed into some swim trunks and I rolled up my pants knee high. Within a few minutes we were both grossed out. But in a super awesome way.

The only way I can explain Squishy Baff, is that it feels like cold Cream of Wheat that you've left out all day. It's bizarre and creepy. You'll instantly think of Ghostbusters and be forced to touch it and squish the goo between your fingers. If you're lucky, like me, you'll have an eleven year old who will test the fart quality- meaning, "What would happen if I farted in Squishy Baff?" I'll tell you- it sounds like you held your face to a wet, woolen pillow and screamed.

Anyway-

This kicked so much ass! Mad props to my Mom for getting it for me.

Also on the awesome list:

Hubs brought home cake and champagne- only I had a few sips and then promptly passed out on the couch.

My Dad and Mom (step) were in town the same week and took me to my favorite sushi joint! There was sake involved and baby octopus.

Oh and I got an iPhone! After I got home, I had to have Miles show me how to text on it. Right now I'm at my all time high score on Temple Run (289,00), have pissed Siri off and cannot figure out how Face Time works. I also downloaded Instagram and I'm participating in the March Photo of the Day. If you want to find me on there, I'm Yoj33.

And for the big grand finale?

NEW CARPET IN THE ENTIRE HOUSE.

Just this afternoon a customer and I were discussing the new carpet. Then we talked appliances. Our kids. Schools. Mom stuff. She was mid sip of her coffee when she set her cup down and said to me, "You know what? This whole conversation we just had makes us legit adults. Appliances? CARPET? Who ARE we?"

I'm not sure Jessica, but I'll tell you what- Squishy Baff and a bottle of champagne can right any wrong.

Found: Laughs

Last weekend, we drove down to Florida to visit my grandparents. It was long overdue (for me) and I had told my Papa over the phone that I was ashamed of how much time had lapsed since I'd been to their house. All was forgiven though and we arrived around lunch on Friday. The best part about that? My Mema's chicken pepperkash. There are plenty of recipes online, but none can be as awesome as Mema's. While I still don't know how to make it, I will tell you that the first bite I took, I closed my eyes and smiled.

We had no agenda & no plans to go anywhere (well, for the guys anyway). Mema and I did what we do best: THRIFT SHOP & GARAGE SALE! She took me to one shop where if you buy two things and one is slightly more than the other, you just pay for ONE item. Really?! Yes. I walked out with an arm full of dresses, jackets and records. More specifically, this one:

At first I wasn't going to get it, but Mema said it was just too funny not to buy. Besides, she had a record player in one of the guest rooms and we could listen to it once we got home. Aside from the title of the record, the actual concept is a no brainer: to stay healthy! Nowadays, it's more for yourself, rather than your ole man.

The record has a slight warp in the beginning, so we skipped ahead a few tracks. What followed was a pretty basic workout routine set to what sounded like (to me) Bewitched typed music. You can listen to the composer, Frank Hunter, online if you're into that sort of thing.

However, what I love most about this album is the back cover, which I will recap below. It goes on to talk about how the album is "designed to help give you everything that's womanly and if followed regularly, a figure that will be desired by men and envied by women." Oohhh la la!

There are tips for your hair: a regular shampooing every three days to keep it looking it's best!

Your eyes: They are the focal point of your face! To open your eyes do this: Open eyes as wide as you can while at the same time, opening your mouth and pulling your upper lip tightly down over your teeth (I know you just did this, didn't you?).

Hands: Men love to hold graceful hands! Always wear rubber gloves when washing dishes or doing any other chores. Use insulated gloves (found at a dime store) when you are cooking or have your hands near heat. Practice graceful positioning with hands up, since when you hold them down, veins stand out and make them look ugly (because who wants ugly hands when you're strangling your man?)

Arms: Heavy, flappy arms can make a woman appear much older than she is. Do the exercises on the record and remember to cut down on ALL starches (won't anyone think of the cobblers?!)

Bust: Maintaining an attractive bust line is something you must work on ALL THE TIME. Use dumbbells or heavy weights every other day.

Those Hips of Yours: Hips can make a woman look matronly or youthful. Men like to see hips that are round and firm and lifted. So many women fail to exercise their hip muscles that they begin to look matronly and flappy in swimwuits and shorts. You'll be rewarded if you faithfully follow the excellent hip exercises in this album.

Pesky Thighs: There is nothing more unattractive than fat thighs (GASP!) I dislike myself when my thighs get a little heavy. At 21 my thighs were my biggest worry and I became desperate to reduce. Men love firm thighs!

Waist: When a man things of a tiny waist, he thinks of someone young & feminine. A small waistline can be maintained through life. When you need to take an extra inch off your waist, wear a tight waist cincher and do the exercises in this album!

And below, my favorite part:

Checklist For Keeping Your Husband Happy:

1. Firm and graceful body

2. Be at home when he arrives. (If you must work, try to arrange it so you're home first.)

3. Clothes, sexy- for your evenings home.

4.Be interested in him and the things he does.

5. A good conversationalist.

6. A bright smile over morning coffee. (This paints a good mental picture of you for all day).

7. Nice voice (keep it soft and musical; also a pretty laugh).

8. Excess fat (TABOO).

9. Well set hair (brushed and clean).

10. Mentally alert (try reading!)

11. Pin curls (fi they are a must, pin up after the lights are out & wear a bed cap).

12. Perfume- just for him, when he's home.

13. A regular manicure.

14. A weekly pedicure.

The sarcastic comments and witty banter I just had with myself while typing this was cracking me up. Feel free to copy and use this list or even add in your own tips! Don't get me wrong, I know how old this record is and I really did enjoy reading it. Stuff like this is what I love most about digging into past histories and pop culture. Yet what I want to know, is how do you keep your voice "musical?" Should I walk around, singing my requests instead of bitching them? Heh.

Alright,

Aside from this gem of a record, I also found some great items for the house, things to wear and stuff to knit. I was laughing with my Papa because I paid .30 cents (yes!) for some old knitting books and the original cover price was .65 cents! WIN! My favorite finds weren't bought though, they were given to me by Mema:

Her Christmas China that my Dad and Uncle bought her over the years, several tea cups with matching saucers, two large tea pots and five beautiful China saucers. The saucers I'm curious about- they are stamped: EMPIRE CHINA 4160 on the back. I haven't been able to find anything on them though. Boo.

Here's some photos:

(Empire China plates in the center).

(This is my absolute favorite tea cup!)

I bought this guy because he reminded me of my Papa (that was married to Busha). Something about him, maybe the pipe (Papa smoked one too).

All in all, a terrific weekend. Leaving was the hardest part. I am extremely close to my grandparents and I think I sobbed on my Mema's shoulder for fifteen minutes before being dragged out the door at quarter to five in the morning. She's so awesome that she made us a pot of coffee, biscuits and jelly and even hooked us up with a barf bucket for Miles (who had gotten sick upon waking up).

I'm already planning another trip as soon as I can. After all, those thrift shops get new stuff in a couple times A DAY. The treasure finding possibilities are endless!

Oh! And one more thing:

MURPHASAURUS!